Graph of the day 2 – Why it’s impossible to clean a child

Unless you are willing take the “Stop it, or I’m turning the hose on you!” approach to parenting (which I think should be open to discussion, but my wife informs me is not, in fact, an option), it is foolish to think that you can actually get your child completely clean once they have eaten a meal. This is demonstrated in the following chart which, I believe, doesn’t require any further explaining.

2 - Why it's impossible to get a child 100% clean, post-meal

 

For those who do feel the need for further explanation…

I’m sure any parent will be familiar with this phenomenon. Your young child finishes a meal… covered in drink, food, and… other stuff that you are just praying is food. So you grab a baby wipe and wipe their face. Then, as you are attempting to wipe one of their flailing hands, the other sneaky appendage reaches up to smear a fresh (although slightly diluted) layer of food onto their face. So you pick whichever bodily part looks the dirtiest, and wipe that… meanwhile, the child rubs the remaining bit of dirt onto the “fresh canvas”.

If this continued, the child would never, theoretically, be 100% clean. I’ve found, however, that it normally ends when you reach the point of “Fine! Whatever buddy, daddy needs to eat HIS dinner”.

Yeah. Being a parent is largely about lowering your standards on what’s an acceptable level of hygiene.

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